Put a sling on them

Who said that carrying your baby is not on fashion? As the song goes...If you love them put a sling on "em".

Extended Breastfeeding

Is it offensive?... or we are just loosing contact with out natural maternal instincts?

Anything you might dream of at The Baby Show

This is a date that the family shouldn’t miss. If you need expert advice, anything baby or maternity, anything for a toddler or just to wander around then this is the place for you.

From May 15 to May 17-2009, The Baby Show will take place in NEC (Birmingham). As usual the venue will be packed with all sorts of advice, conferences and information from experts to parents; first hand advice from midwife’s and health visitors one-to-one at the Tommy's Meet the Midwives and Health Visitors Centre, talks on Baby First Aid from St John Ambulance and advice from sleep routine expert Jo Tantum among others.

If you are just searching for something to shop, you will have the chance of your life, you will find the latest baby slings for your newborn, toys for that running toddler, high chairs, buggies, feeding equipment, anything for your nursery, you name it is going to be there. Prices will also be the highest attraction, at a fraction of retail price is proving to beat any credit crunch.

When you feel that the day is taking its toll, take a break at the BabyCentre Cravings Cafe where you will be able to relax while indulging in your favourite craving. This is the perfect excuse to join the whole family for a day out and about, just to explore new information and choices that might enrich your family life.

Opening times: Friday 15 - Sunday 17 May 9.30am - 5.00pm.
Tickets from £11.00 in advance or £13.95 on the door, kids (0-10 years) go free.
For further information or if you would like to book online visit www.thebabyshow.co.uk

The no-cry sleep solution Video.

You might find interesting this short video of an interview to Elizabeth Pantley and some tips to help your child sleep through the night using some of the techniques from the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night

The no-cry sleep solution

While there are still some advocates of leaving the baby to cry until he falls asleep, more and more these methods are proving inadequate for babies. The popular phrase “Crying doesn’t harm a baby” might not, after all, be true anymore.

Recent studies show that leaving a baby to cry produces an increase in the stress hormones; these will trigger physiological responses such as heart rate increase and blood pressure as well as body temperature. The result will be overheating and vomiting due to extreme stress level as well as an increased risk of SIDS in some infants.

There is also evidence that increased levels of stress hormones will have long-term emotional consequences that will affect memory, attention and emotion as well as a predisposition to suffer from stress, anxiety and depression later in life.

If you don’t believe in leaving your baby to cry it out, but you don’t know what else to do, you now have a new option presented by Elizabeth Pantley’s book The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night: Foreword by William Sears, M.D. (Pantley).

Pantley a mother of four proposes a step-by-step gentle approach that will guide you on your journey to make your baby sleep through the night without crying. This method has already proved popular in women all across US, Canada and Europe, which have found it invaluable and effective.

Whether your baby sleeps in a cot or in the family bed, whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, E. Pantley provides all sorts of solutions and techniques to suit you because, not all families are the same and each baby is different.

The book starts with helpful information on sleeping and sleeping patterns, advice on best position to place your baby, safety precautions if you co-sleep. It advises to fill a sleep log to identify your baby’s biological sleep patterns before you implement any change, as you are the most appropriate person to identify what is more suitable for you and your baby. It will then help you create a personal sleep plan that will guide you step-by-step to a good night sleep for everyone, mum and baby alike.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night: Foreword by William Sears, M.D. (Pantley) has proved of invaluable help. A must have for all those families, that believe that a gentle approach to the "cry it out solution" is possible.

Hands free baby bottles

I have just finished a new lens about Podee baby bottles. I have found quite interesting doing the research although there is not so much material available. I think I am going to make a deeper research about other products and accessories that might be available in the market and update this post at a later date. Meanwhile if you want to have a look, here is the lens: www.squidoo.com/podeebottle

Co-education

I was just doing some research on education when I found this video. The term “co-education” is applied not only in the sense on education of boys and girls mix, but also education in the equality, equal opportunities for both sexes in life and education.

Since we are born we are treated in a specific way, talked to in a specific way, dressed in a specific way, just because we are boys or girls. When I saw the video, I thought: “Mmmm, how many people will see themselves reflected?” Sadly more than you think.

This video will give you some food for thought.

Steiner Education

This is a very short post and also very specific, but I thought that some of you might be interested in Steiner Education, so I decided to post a short note to let people know a little bit in advance.

For those of you interested in Steiner Education there is the possibility to try out a taster Steiner class at the SW London Schools on Friday 6th March 5-8pm “An evening in the classroom for grown-ups”

If you are interested and you would like to find out more, go to http://www.waldorf-swlondon.org/

Sleeping with your baby

Co-sleeping or bed sharing with your baby promotes breastfeeding and bonding between mother and child. Co-sleeping is not a new concept and it is still a very common practise in many countries. In most non-western cultures co-sleeping is extended well over two years old and usually until the child decides to sleep on its own.

It has been proven that the sleep patterns and health in mothers and babies that co-sleep together are connected in beneficial ways.

Among the benefits of co-sleeping we can include.

-Babies breastfeed more and sleep more (not only beneficial for the baby but also for the mum)
-Babies cry less, suffer from less stress levels
-More breastfeeding, means healthier babies, that receive more antibodies and build stronger immune systems that help them fight disease.
-Allows immediate response from parents (emotionally and physiologically) due to closeness in case the baby cries, is cold, his blanket covers his head etc

Although there are so many advocates for babies to sleep alone, the benefits of leaving the baby to sleep alone have not been demonstrated. What is more, recent studies are actually proving that the opposite is true. Research shows that children who co-sleep are more independent, self-confident, self-steem and display a better behaviour (calmer children) than those left to sleep alone.

By nature children were designed to co-sleep next to his mother, where the infant feels protected and warm, and receives the breast milk on demand (as needed), exactly as it is expected by nature.

Research shows that co-sleeping if done properly is safer than leaving your baby alone. Japan, where co-sleeping is normal, is among the countries with the lowest SIDS rates in the world.

More and more studies are showing that mum and baby’s separation has detrimental consequences. The practice in Western countries to separate children that still need psychologically and physiologically the closeness of their parents should be carefully considered. Their emotional and physical needs have been naturally connected to their mother’s for thousands of years.

Two excellent books on the subject are:

Healthier alternatives to praise and rewards

This article is a continuation to the previous two Reasons why it is not so good to say "Good Girl!" and Why not to reward your children.

Although as tempting as it may seem rewards that might work in the short term, are ineffective in the long term. Children learn the lessons in life by trial and error, by making their own mistakes and by learning to make their own decisions not by following someone else’s instructions. When we interfere in their lives trying a short route to any conflict with bribes (or threats) their opportunity to learn is lost.

Some research advices on different alternatives to deal and reconnect with your children, some of these alternatives include explaining, talking and trying to look for a solution to a problem together, working “with” the child instead of trying to make them behave in our own terms.

1- We might need to reconsider if, after all, our requests are that important or even if they are reasonable. Instead of saying “Good job” to a three year old for behaving at the table in a restaurant, we should reconsider if after all it is reasonable to expect from a three year old the behaviour we would expect from an adult.

2- Try to work out solutions with your child. If your child makes a fuss every time he has to collect his toys, say something like “I have noticed that these days it is taking you a long time to collect your toys after playing. What do you think we could do to improve it?

3- Say nothing or give more specific information. Instead of “good girl” if your girl puts her coat on say “I see that you already did it by yourself” or just “you did it!”, “I see that you managed to do it, you look happy with yourself”

4- Get more involved and ask questions. Instead of “good job” when your daughter shows you all her toys in the basket, ask her questions like “Isn’t it nice how much room there seems to be to play now?”,”Are you happy with how the room looks now? They will make them realise that you have noticed it, but also they will help to self-evaluate their achievement. Or something like:”What was the one that you think it was the heaviest to put inside the box?”, “I am happy that you did it by yourself, how does it make you feel?”

5- Comment always on the behaviour not on the person. It is very important to help the child differentiate between what he is and what he does, phrases like “good girl”, “you are a good painter” confuse the child. Phrases like “I see that you did it by yourself”, “I really like the colours you used in that painting”, help the child differentiate between who he is as a person and the different things that he does in life.

It is a healthy desire to want to join our children in the celebrations of their achievements as well as to encouragement. There is no reason why we should hold back, we can still do it in a healthy way without the need manipulation or praise.

If you find this subject interesting, these two books by Alfie Kohn are excellent to read more about it:

Why not to reward your children

We all agree on how important is to support and encourage our children, to make them feel that we love them and help them in their way to become happy independent and self-confident adults. Contrary to what we believe, praise and rewards don’t help along the way, but it can become an important obstacle in their development.

Main reasons:

1- One of the main reasons we use praise it is just because it is convenient for us, not because it is beneficial to the child. They don’t need the praise, but by praising something that they did, we happily try to reinforce a behaviour that we would like to see repeated. It is just because of our convenience, in that way it becomes a way of manipulation.

2- Creates insecurity and increases children’s dependence on us; Children become expectant and reliant on our evaluations. Instead of learning for themselves and forming their own judgement, children do things searching for adult’s approval, increasing their dependence on someone else and the inability to make their own judgment.

3- Rewards create a bad habit. The more rewards the parents give the more rewards the children will need to keep motivated. Giving rewards creates a habit to look for more rewards. The children don’t feel motivated towards any achievement or activity but towards achieving the reward. In this way, the children loose the capacity to enjoy their own achievements and the consequent sense that will help them build their self-confidence to become a more independent adult.

4- Lack of interest. It has been proven that after performing a task that has been rewarded the majority of children will lose interest in repeating the task on their own means, that is, just because they enjoy it with no reward. It has also been proven that children will only perform to the length in which they have secured the reward, that is, the minimum required, once the reward is secured they wouldn’t put extra effort that will not be rewarded.

5- Decrease of creativity and natural curiosity, essential qualities to learn and develop. Children eager to receive more praise keep repeating what they have been praised for avoiding taking risks and exploring other possibilities that would offer the chance of not being that “good at”. Children that are allowed to explore without judgment, rewards or praise prove to be more adventurous often trying tasks that are above their level of ability, because they are not afraid of failing.

An excellent book that deals with the effects of judgment, praise and rewards in children is Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise and Other Bribes by Alfie Kohn.

Reasons why it's not so good to say "Good Girl!"

I have always felt quite uncomfortable with the so familiar phrase “Good girl”, it just doesn’t sound right, it’s the kind of phrase I imagine used by a dog trainer to a dog, but definitely not to my child.

However, for so many people is the day to day cliché, the phrase is just part of their vocabulary in the same way as their morning coffee, something they have just become used to. The latest research shows that behind the innocent and seemingly good intentioned praise lays the harsh truth; in the long term, praise is not only ineffective, but damages our children and their healthy development.

Creates the confusion in the child who as a result values herself with the same value as the value of the things she does instead of being able to clearly differentiate between the two different things WHO she is and WHAT she does, SHE is NOT what she does. She is inherently good, nothing of what she does will make her less or more, better or worst.

The phrase is just an empty verbal cliché; there is no information in it, it is just a lazy substitute for actually communicating with our children, noticing and encouraging their efforts. It is more beneficial for your children to hear you explain what you see rather than make a judgement (that is "good" girl).

If your daughter brings a glass from the table to the sink say “Thank you” or “I appreciate it” instead of “good girl”. If she puts all her toys in the basket after playing show her that you notice what she did, say something more informative and specific like “You really filled that basket with your toys!”, “You did it!” instead of just a generic “Good girl”, “good job”.

Children by nature are eager to learn, when we acknowledge their accomplishments, without the judgement of “good”, we empower them to look for more experiences and open the opportunity for them to keep learning. When we use a judgement, they identify themselves with what they do, they think that they are good because of what they did, this tends to repeat exactly the same behaviour just to get someone’s approval rather than to learn or to experience.

Let her know that she is always a good girl even when she doesn’t make good choices.

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn is a really good parenting book that deals with this subject

Slings, The art of Baby Wearing

A new born is always good news, but also synonym of sleepless nights and long, tiring days. Your baby seems to need you all the time and you end up finding difficult to get anything else done. However, traditional cultures have found natural ways to carry their babies and seem to successfully integrate their babies into their daily busy lives.

Babywearing has many benefits:

-Babies cry less and are happier when they are worn regularly. Research has shown that babies who are carried cry 43% less overall and 54% less in the evening hours. It has proved to be of special help with those babies suffering from gases and colic.

-Creates special bond with your baby. The physical closeness of carrying your baby develops a strong bond between baby and wearer. This closeness has also been proved to reduce distress and separation anxiety in babies.

-Increases baby’s emotional and mental development. Closeness to the parent offers emotional comfort to the baby. When carried, babies develop quicker a sense of security and confidence, becoming more independent and self-confident children.
Baby becomes spectator of how life and daily activities evolve around them. They see the world from their parents’ level, the extra stimulation makes babies to spend more time in a “quiet, alert state” which is the optimal for learning process.

-Encourages baby’s physical development. The close contact with their parents helps newborns in the transition between life in the womb to life in the outside world. Babies carried in slings tend to sit up and stand up earlier.

- More freedom. Because your hands are free you can carry on with your daily life. The care of your baby becomes easier as he joins you as a quiet spectator in your daily activities.

You have your baby close to kiss him, comfort him or talk to him without the need to interrupt what you are doing, and your daily life becomes easier, to take a bus or a walk, to look after your other children. The world is at your hand to enjoy!

Sing & Sign with babies

Sing and sign is a programme of familiar nursery songs and rhymes that teach babies and toddlers simple gestures by which they learn to communicate. It’s fun for parents and babies and engages the little ones that already recognise the popular songs.

Baby signing is a natural and normal process; even babies that haven’t gone through any training sign daily to communicate from a very early age. By singing and signing you enjoy a bonding experience with your baby. You only need to learn a few signs, some of them you will find familiar and the others easy to remember.

By teaching through music the experience of learning baby signing becomes easy and fun. Babies love repetition, they will learn the songs along with the signs and very soon you can see amazing results, as they enjoy the songs they will start signing along in short time.

Although sign language is practiced with babies from very early age, sing and sign have proved to be more beneficial for babies from 6 months onwards, as this is the stage where children start using signs more actively to communicate.

If you want to try it at home, there are different types of material you can try, DVDs or books. We recommend:
The very popular DVDs

Sing & Sign Books:

Elimination Communication, the Natural Infant Hygiene

Natural Infant Hygiene, also known as Elimination Communication (EC) is a way of communicating with your baby about his/her needs to “eliminate”. In other words, is the introduction of the baby to the toilet at a very early age, as early as newborn and, usually before 6 months old. Babies starting this process after 6 months old they are called “late starters”, and because they have already become conditioned to the use of diapers they might be less aware of their toilet needs.

As novel as this may sound, this is not a new concept; millions of women have done it in the past and, nowadays, it is still a normal practice in some parts of Africa, Asia and South America, here women carry their babies and are aware, at the same time, of their babies elimination needs.

The basic idea behind the practice of EC is the fact that, in the same way babies are aware of when they are hungry or tired, they are also aware of their needs to eliminate, which they try to communicate in a way or another. Although most of these babies are potty trained by the age of 18 months (usually when their diapered counterparts start this process) the emphasis of EC is not on how many pees you catch or how soon the baby is trained, but more in the process of communication between caregiver and baby and the special bond that is built as a result of this.

Among the benefits of practising EC are:

-Creates a special bonding between parent and baby, due to the close communication and awareness.

- Babies feel more comfortable. The practise of EC creates babies that cry less than their diapered counterparts, as they feel clean and dry. Some parents believe that the practise of EC prevents most of the baby rashes suffered by diapered babies.

-Promotes baby independence; as babies feel more in control and aware of their physical needs and ability to communicate them, babies become more independent and self-confident at an early age.

-It is a more economical solution, after all the practise of EC is a direct benefit for your family budget.

- Better for the environment; if you think “disposables” think better, actually they are NOT disposables. Diapers are not biodegradable and constitute the third largest contributor to landfills.

If you would like to give a try to Natural Infant Hygiene, these are two of the best books to get you started: